This Just In: It Is All About Appearances
(Ask anyone who has seen THE WIZARD OF OZ – would Dorothy and her menagerie have made that long trip had they not been bedazzled by the Emerald City?)
I think it was comedian Gallagher who said, “God made babies cute so you don’t kill them.” Based on my own experiences with two beautiful children, I knew when I heard it, he was absolutely right.
It is so true – Beautiful people, cute kids, even pretty pets get away with a lot more than the rest of the dull, mousey, ordinary populace.
This past week, the headlines reminded us all that beauty may only be skin deep, but, most people don’t have x-ray vision. And so the physically blessed among us seem to get a pass, like a note from their mother, “Please excuse Beautiful Person’s transgression. It won’t happen again – and if it does, please excuse again. After all, he/she is blessed with beauty, thereby above the law, and entitled. He/she may color outside the lines, pass on the right, go to the head of the class, pass go and collect as much money as he/she wants, text while driving, and anything else he/she chooses to do…”
I’m just sayin’ if those two White House party crashers had looked like Ma and Pa Kettle (oops, dating myself) – okay, if they had looked like –Roseanne Barr and Randy Quaid– would they have made it past any White House gate? I don’t think so. But, they were dashing and charismatic. Well, he – not so much, really. But, she? Thin, blonde, the lady in red – that’s the magic formula. All Mr. Crasher had to do was put his arm through hers, fasten his seatbelt. I am going to take a guess here that most of the Secret Service agents at the entrances were male. Mr. Crasher alone might have been stopped – but, he was eclipsed by the skinny blonde. (We probably need more female Secret Service agents at those events.)
And then there was Tiger Woods – beautiful, gifted Tiger. Elin let him live – probably because he’s great looking (not to mention very rich). If he looked like Ozzy Osbourne, she might have killed him. And eventually, she (and we) will all forgive Tiger, because he is gorgeous – which, come to think of it, is what got him in this mess in the first place.
Oh, cursed, cursed beauty!