Sticker Shock – Straighten Up and Drive Right

If  you are one of those lucky people who can look at a picture hanging slightly askew, and think absolutely nothing of it; if you have never required any group of objects (pens, pencils, silverware, etc.) to line up perfectly – then stop reading this right now.  You just won’t get it.  

On the other hand, if you cannot even THINK about cutting off your car engine when the windshield wipers are still halfway up the windshield, then read on – you are one of us.

Here’s how it went down:

My son (who, at the time was driving a high end SUV that I’m too embarrassed to name, because it is almost decadent), stopped at a gas station in Austin.  A couple of “Austin’s Finest” (you know, policemen) were also there quenching their thirst.  When one of them asked my son if the SUV was his, my son (assuming the policeman, like most everyone else, just wanted to discuss the bells and whistles on the vehicle or ask about the gas mileage), proudly admitted the truck was his.  As it turns out, the officer had no interest in either the luxury options or the gas mileage.  He just wanted to advise my son the registration had expired.

My son admitted he was aware of that, adding, “I’ve got the new sticker.  It’s in the glove compartment.  You see, I have this OCD thing about getting it on the windshield perfectly straight.”  At that point, the officer half-winked at his partner, and informed my son, “Well, you’re gonna have a $275 fine to go along with that OCD thing if you don’t put the sticker on the window.”

Obviously, the officer either did not believe my son, in fact, had the current registration sticker in his glove compartment, or he is one of those fortunate individuals with no need for symmetry in his world.  He could, therefore, not even imagine the extent of anxiety my son experienced at the very thought of applying the sticker any way but PERFECTLY STRAIGHT on his windshield.

I understand.   Oh, I totally empathize.  If you don’t apply that sticker perfectly aligned with your universe the very FIRST time – you’re just stuck with it – GAME OVER.   You’re now forced to look at that crooked decal for an entire year.  There are no do-overs in state sticker application.

If you are one of those obsessive-compulsive people faced with 365 days of seeing that cock-eyed sticker virtually gorilla-glued to your windshield – right in front of your face, there’s only one way to escape the anguish – SELL THE CAR.  That’s right.  You just have to trade it in.  Tell the dealer you need to trade it for a vehicle with perfectly aligned registration and inspection stickers.  I really think that’s what if you remember the TV show MONK, it is what star Tony Shalhoub’s Adrian Monk character would do.

It’s the only way for all to be right with the world – if you are one of us.

On the upside, the State of Texas has combined the inspection and registration stickers – one less crooked detail and decal to deal with.

Now, for the proverbial “call to action:”

If you liked this piece, please click “Like,” leave a comment, “Follow” my blog, – better yet, share the link with friends, family, or colleagues you think would enjoy it. It’s the only way a writer can gather an audience. Thanks very much! Nancy 🌹




About nancsue

Writer - Former newspaper columnist - lover of all things nostalgic, collies, music, humor, and ever grateful to those who defend American citizens at home and abroad.
This entry was posted in Autos, Humor and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Sticker Shock – Straighten Up and Drive Right

  1. Debbie says:

    So true.

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