Confessions of a Freelance Worshipper

Okay. I admit it. I’m a fair weather church goer.” Note, I did not say a fair weather believer. No, I am always there in spirit, and I am a certified prayer warrior. I just don’t attend church with any regularity. Perhaps I should have dubbed myself a stormy weather church goer. Because, that is when I find myself on the kneeler. Disclaimer: I was raised to attend church, and usually went to Presbyterian Sunday School as a child.  I later converted to Catholicism, and always fulfilled my Sunday obligation. When I had an intact family, we were there – every Sunday, regardless of how squirmy the kids tried to be.

It has been the past decade (or so) I began my freelance worship.

Ouch – for a person who resists the face-to-face confession, preferring to hide behind the screen, that was quite a public admission.

Digression and disclaimer over. Recently, I heard a voice ask:  “So, how’s that freelance worship thing workin’ for ya?” I’m pretty sure it was Dr. Phil – not Jesus. Because, Jesus isn’t a smarta**.

And so, life led me back to the altar today – to the church I joined in 1968 when I converted. I knelt and prayed before the image of the glorified Christ.  Many times over the years, I have knelt here, and prayed. That first year of joining the Church, my brother was stationed in Vietnam. So, every Sunday meant gazing at this Cross, praying for my brother’s safe homecoming. Those prayers were answered, and I thank Him to this day.

Over the years, that’s where I find myself (especially in times of need) – kneeling, gazing intently at the foot of the cross – peering up into that elevated countenance, trying to see His eyes – seeking some kind of sign- as if He will look right at me, wink, and say, “It’s okay.  I’ve got this.”


About nancsue

Writer - Former newspaper columnist - lover of all things nostalgic, collies, music, humor, and ever grateful to those who defend American citizens at home and abroad.
This entry was posted in Blessings, Catholicism, Depression, emotions, Humor, Miracles, Prayer, religion, Success/Failure, values and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Confessions of a Freelance Worshipper

  1. Denny Kinnaman says:

    Nancy, I enjoyed your blog I think many of us have been like that. As I’ve gotten older I hope I’ve gotten wiser. I feel for myself the closer I get to God as in his word and prayer the more and the clearer I see his will and direction.
    Thank you for your Blogs, Denny

  2. Nancy, I am a prayer warrior also and you are in my prayers.

  3. Steven Phillip says:

    I am totally ok with the fair weather church goer who is actually a good person such as yourself. Trust me, I know a lot of the there every Sunday come Hell or High Water people and get their hour in and they walk out the front door of the church and think that hour gave them a hall pass to go out into the world and act like Jack Asses until next Sunday. Was there to many bad words in there for a religious topic !?

    • nancsue says:

      Thank you – for reading, and espousing, so to speak. 😉 i know some of those people, as well. Not to worry – your language fit your passion – well said!

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